Coolin' On The Ave - Freddy B & The Mighty Mic Masters

Tip-top Hip-Hop from the early days of pop rap, before scoring hits meant witlessly mumbling about your Jeep over an old Phil Collins backing track.

As much as I like Hip-Hop I can't help thinking there's an inverted racism inherent in the media's unquestioning acceptance of it's agenda and lingua franca. White pop acts would never get away with the kind of misogyny, vacuity and ill-fitting synthetic tracksuits so essential to the Urban music experience. Why should rap acts get away with wearing terry towelling sun visors and contributing to the soundtrack of films about a wise-cracking, crime-solving, computer-generated squirrels without being accused of selling out. Huh?

Coolin' On The Ave featuring Captain Gee Whiz (to give it it's full title) taps into the vision of the Avenue as one big Brooklyn summer block party; rooftop sound systems blare out dub, five play against five on a halfcourt, kids shoot dice by the Piggly Wiggly, old men talk sports in the barbershop... In the alley, Top Cat devises a plan to get even with a conman who tricked Officer Dibble out of his life savings.

Strangely enough, my parents live on an Avenue. No lowriders cruise down Elm Ave (leading to Carisbrooke Court). It' is, however, jammin' with Learner drivers practising three-point turns before coolin' and cold chillin' on the Cul-de-Sac.

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Hey Kids - Tony Rivers

"Hey kids. Gotta move around. Gotta boogie down." Tony Rivers cashes in on the disco boom in a very British way with this synthy pop floor-filler. He's manning the youth club disco tuck shop. The church hall is double-booked with the Cubs and he's hoping to get to dance with Akela before she drives home in her Fiat Strada to cook Mum's tea and feed the cats. Shake it to the boogie music.

Tony Rivers started out in Tony Rivers and the Castaways, Britain's cut-price answer to the Beach Boys before forming Harmony Grass and working as a session musician with artists as diverse as Sheena Easton, Soft Machine, Steve Marriot, Roger Daltry, Cliff Richard, UFO, Shakin' Stevens and Pink Floyd.

As well also providied vocals for West Ham United on the single release of 'I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles' and sang many of the cheap cover versions on the Top of the Pops compilations. Rivers also sang the theme tune to the classic seventies sitcom 'Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads', which, with it's finely drawn characters, complete narrative arc that played out beautifully over two series and sharp jokes that didn't rely on crude stereotypes or contrived situations, stood out in an era when, due to restrictive union practices, every tv comedy show had to feature at least one sketch set in the Garden of Eden. Rubber snakes, plastic fig leaves and the punchline "Can't wait until Autumn" were compulsory.

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Manifesto & Book News

If it's ever been on K-Tel or Ronco, it's in. If it features hand claps, cow bells, syrupy orchestration, walls of sound, wrecking crews, sha-la-las, toothy teen idols, candy-based metaphors for carnal acts or lyrics about hugging, squeezing and rocking all night long, it's in.

'Sanity check' that, motherhugger



> Martin Lampen (latest book news, contact details and other stuff)

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