Want Ads - Honey Cone

The first post-Motown product from Holland-Dozier-Holland (featuring guitar by Ray Parker Jr.) is the tale of a mistreated woman looking for love among the small ads of the local paper.

Inspired by the song's narrative and on the off-chance that some sassy, satin-clad, pop-gospel Supremes manque was lookin' for love in the Greater London area, I bought a copy of Loot. Unfortunately, it was full of rooms to rent in Tooting and over-priced bean bag animals (and I refuse to pay more than £10 for 'Sizzle the Bear').

Soulful Sugar by Honey Cone is the only record I've ever stolen... and the only thing I've ever stolen apart from a lightbulb-shaped, lemon-scented eraser with eyes (Lemon? Lightbulb? Eyes?).

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Jack And Jill - Tommy Roe

Roe recycles his big hit 'Dizzy', adding world class back-up 'Ooooos' and 'Ahhhhs' and lyrics about women getting in shape for the benefit of men, physical fitness and self-tanning.

There's a tanning salon on Chiswick High Street called The Electric Beach (It's next to a mobile phone shop called Hot Gossip. Yes!)... which will be the title of my Kraftwerk meets Jan & Dean electro-surf solo album.

I once advertised an unwanted excercise bike in the smalls ads section of the Plymouth Evening Herald. The only interested caller asked me how fit I was, then asked me my first name...

I put the phone down slowly.

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Manifesto & Book News

If it's ever been on K-Tel or Ronco, it's in. If it features hand claps, cow bells, syrupy orchestration, walls of sound, wrecking crews, sha-la-las, toothy teen idols, candy-based metaphors for carnal acts or lyrics about hugging, squeezing and rocking all night long, it's in.

I am a DJ. I am a dancer in a club. I am a model. I customized it myself.



> Martin Lampen (latest book news, contact details and other stuff)

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