Oh Sheila - Ready for the World

Pop funk? Slinky bass beats? Camp vocals? Simulated sex? That sounds like...

1985. The year of self-delusion. Just like every ageing smoothie with wavy grey hair thought that he looked like Richard Gere, every funk rock wannabe with jheri curls, a skinny tie, hipster wordplay and a little moustache thought he was Prince.

From the paisley-splattered slop bucket of Prince copyists comes Ready for the World. As well as their smash hit Oh Sheila, tracks on their debut album include Slide Over, Out of Town Lover, Deep Inside Your Love and Ceramic Girl.

Ceramic girl? Fair enough... as long as the Denby or Wedgewood is kept well away from the headboard, eh Love.

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Abra-cadabra - Steve Miller Band

There are six red sponge balls. I have a mini guillotine. Put your finger in there. There are now twelve red sponge balls. Look at them all!

For four hundred years magic was practised by the Menomini Indians of Northern Minnesota. The tribe Shamen would use illusion as part of initiation ritual. He'd make snakes vanish, juggle poison-tipped knives, stop wounds from bleeding and bring dead animals back to life.

In 2002 I was practising simple magic tricks in hotel bars in a attempt to pick up women. I overlooked the fact that all the men in hotel bars look like magicians.

Now there are over fifty sponge balls! Some of them are yellow.

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Manifesto & Book News

If it's ever been on K-Tel or Ronco, it's in. If it features hand claps, cow bells, syrupy orchestration, walls of sound, wrecking crews, sha-la-las, toothy teen idols, candy-based metaphors for carnal acts or lyrics about hugging, squeezing and rocking all night long, it's in.

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> Martin Lampen (latest book news, contact details and other stuff)

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