Where Are You Baby? - Betty Boo

Come back Alison Clarkson! It's the Year 2000 + 3; the age of chocolate-flavoured popcorn Snack-a-Jacks, Claire's Accessories, tiny phones that chime the Hornpipe and fizzy, coloured alcohol. In this day and age you'd make a billion, Betty Boo.

But it was 1990 and no one fully appreciated appreciate your sublime, genre-busting Big Beat Bugglegum rap. Hell, you were probably the first woman to keep a spare bottle of Breezer in your handbag. But people were only interested in listening to skinny white boys in jumpers and black denim singing about the Poll Tax.

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(I'm Gonna) Run Away - Joan Jett

Blueprint bad girl rock and a prime example of what's missing in today's female role models...

You wouldn't see Joan Jett reading popular fiction about shopping and men on the tube, drinking cranberry-flavoured rum mixers or biting her nails while moaning about her ex in frothy low fat coffee shop.

In the New Year I plan on holding auditions for Teen Woolf, the all-girl feminist hard rock group that I will manage. Bring your own lipgloss and be prepared to change your name to Brandi.

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Manifesto & Book News

If it's ever been on K-Tel or Ronco, it's in. If it features hand claps, cow bells, syrupy orchestration, walls of sound, wrecking crews, sha-la-las, toothy teen idols, candy-based metaphors for carnal acts or lyrics about hugging, squeezing and rocking all night long, it's in.

She's a dancer, a romancer. I'm a Capricorn and she's a Cancer.



> Martin Lampen (latest book news, contact details and other stuff)

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